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The language in this makes me cringe, but it is genuinely funny.
http://dontevenreply.com/view.php?post=84
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Lissen, you knows I use my blender for flowers. Why wood you be sprised that i hammer fings wiff my camera? I'm not hard to please - if you bring munny.
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Ha haaaaaaaaaaa, muny, wots muny when you got friends and i iz your friend ain't I ! :O)
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True, butchoo sed you is tryin' to IMPRESS me. Munny impresses me much faster than friendship.
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Ill print some for you an post it over, good stuff it is, and at a cheap exchange rate at the mo, $10 for $5 bargain init :O)
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Oh Dezzie i try and try and you just shoot me down in flames, juss no pleasing some people :O(
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Mikey, I am ALWAYS pleased to shoot you down in flames. How can you say that?!
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I know you likes me really, i can tell because you only maimed me with the pointy stick dinya :O)
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Maybe. But you does move like greased lightning. It's that flippin' goose fat, izzent it?
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Just rub me belly,,,Can yoo feel juss how soft an smoove it is,,,Goose fat baby gurl, keeps me lookin yung and slick ........... Now you wont some dunya :O)
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You're not goin' to beleeve this, but no. Not at all. Not even a skerrick, morsel or little bit. Now if you're goin' to run around naked, I'm callin' yor Ma.
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Cant have you seeing too much of a good thing now dezzie, juss pass me me boxers, thats the ones there stuck to the door :O)
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No-o-o-o! I can't touch those! I yam a single woman! It's juss not seemly!
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Go on, there cleanish sort of, i wash my pants at least once a month :O)
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Yes Ma always sez keep um clean, you never know when you could get run over by a bus and end up in hosspisstal , so my personal highjean is to a very high Standhard :O)
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I knowed you woz posh, but I had no idea just how posh you really is, Mikey. I am not worthy...
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But you is, you is a gud friend, you always has time to talk to me even though most the time its insults i dont mind this as sometimes your hinsults is quite funny, Friend :O)
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Well, they are very poor hinsults, aren't they, if alls you can do is larf. I yam a failure...
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But i is used to um had um all the thymes off me Ma bless her, look at her sat there in her little cage, Tell you Dezzie i got bad stomach in me belly headache and me teeth are itching today :O(
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I hope it's just a short bug, Mikey. It's no fun to be sick. You look after yourself. If anything is going to hurt you, it has to be me.
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Thank you Dezzie i iz feeling munch better now, must have been a bug like you said :O)
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Or the demon drink. It wazzent the demon drink, wazzit, Mikey? Say it ain't so!
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Dezzie, i haven't had a drink in 8 months, I have stopped drinking Coffee and tea now i just drink juice or water, i think the coffee was giving me bad headaches so i only very rarely have a tea now and NO alcohol at all :O)